Friday, September 7, 2012


Brian ended up staying home from work because he is sick.  I really hope he gets better soon because I want him to see the girls on Sunday and maybe Monday.  We got in a big fight about how it seems like he don't care about seeing the girls.  I know he works a lot but he doesn't seem to make much of an effort to see them when he is off.  The day of Lorelei's surgery he got about 20mins or so of sleep.  He feel asleep in the waiting room after we talked to the surgeon but before the doctor and a few other people came to talk to us.  After I talked to them by myself and they told me we can see her now I tried to wake him up.  He wasn't really getting up so I just left.  Apparently he called me a bitch or that I was bitchy, either way I don't think its bitchy to want to see your daughter right after surgery.  And I wasn't going to wait for him - he did follow right behind me though.  And I told him how all that made me feel.  And how I feel like most parents don't complain about gas or being 'too tired' to see their kids in the NICU - they see they every chance they get.. with little to no sleep, and definitely not going to the bar and/or hanging out with friends.  He really is a good father I swear - he has even been stressing trying to find a new job closer to home so he can have more time with us instead of driving 3hrs everyday to/from work.  And trying to get something around the same pay or more.. but even with the same pay we will have more money since he currently spends $400+ a month on gas just for work.  I know he loves all of his children very much, but sometimes he just doesn't show it, and I really need him to.

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